Our 5th Anniversary Getaway

We left on Thursday afternoon to head up to the Logan Anniversary Inn. And we LOVE it up there! We are already talking about going up there for my birthday. We didn't do a whole lot, mostly just spent time together, enjoyed the rooms and everything. We went on a tour our second day there to get an idea of some of the other rooms we want to try, and that was really fun. They have a ton of rooms up there! It was a really great Anniversary!

Our first Night was at Rich's Drive Inn. There is a bed in the back of this truck, and a projection TV. It was a really fun room!

The tub was huge! But that's is one of the BEST things about their rooms. Its almost worth the money just for that!!

The projection TV. Cool huh? We watched The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe on it that night.

Nate driving the truck.

The second night we stayed in one of the lower tiered suites, called European Honeymoon. It was a really cute room. Had a really pretty fireplace, and nice tile work.

The last night we stayed in Nefertitis Court. This room is just gorgeous! It was decorated so beautifully, and like the first night we had a My Comfort bed, and those beds are so comfy. You seriously feel like you are sleeping on a cloud!! It was a good way to end the trip!

Another huge tub!

Isn't that bed so pretty??

So it was so fun! And I'm glad we did it, we needed it. Now we just can't wait to go back and try some of their other rooms. We have a bounce back pass that we are using at the 5th south one in April which will be fun, and then going to a Jazz game. Can you tell we are obsessed? LOL but oh well! We love it!

A quick glimpse back at the past 5 years....

I know there is to many new posts, but just wanted to do this for me, because I might end up printing this blog out.
2004

2005

2006

2007

2008

2009

Happy Anniversary!!

I'm bored waiting for Nate, so I thought this post by my friend Meg was really fun. And I'm bored so I will do it.

I am... Tami, lucky wife of crazy Nate, Aunt to several beautiful kids, baby of family, baby of friends, formal "dolphin dancer", and infertility sufferer.

I think.... this world is so screwed up, and that we are seeing the consequences of years of horrible decisions/actions.

I know... that there is a God, and that there is life after death.

I want... to be happy more then anything. And to have enough to support ourselves financially now and beyond retirement.

I wish... people loved each other the way they used to. That people were more interested in making lifelong friends, and helped each other when they could.

I had... really good friends growing up. Lately I have just felt really grateful for their examples and friendships growing up.

I hate... fruit. Well most of it anyways. I cannot pick peaches when they are ripe. My Father-In-Law is really good at this.

I miss... being in my own place, my Grandma, my best friend Lauri, and being young without hardly any worries.

I fear... bees, spiders, never being a mom, never owning a home, being unhappy and lonely.

I feel... like winter lasts too long. I miss the sun....

I hear... some talk show on TV, and my cats collar bells jingling.

I smell... not a whole lot, thanks to this cold that is on the verge of getting here.

I crave... a Ultimate Omelet from Denny's....? Random....

I search... on google all the time...I am there so many times a day, searching things I'm curious about.

I wonder... what its like to be rich, or at least make enough money that you aren't counting pennies. Never experienced that in my whole life. Hopefully after Nate gets his degree.

I regret... not being a better student in High School, and staying in College, and working hard. And staying in shape, and so many other things....life is littered with regrets I guess.

I love... my Husband Nate, he is my hero. And my Dad, he is my example, all other people who contribute positively in my life, and my kitties. They are good for snuggling on a bad day.

I care... about people's opinions of me to much.

I always... get sick in the Winter. I can't remember the last time I didn't get sick in the Winter...at least Strep has stepped out of my life for the last 2, but this winter was the first time getting bronchitis, and first time ever losing my voice!

I am not... the best version of myself that I could be.

I believe... that people (including myself) focus on themselves and their immediate family (own children/husband) to much. A lot of people don't even care about their extended family/neighbors/friends that often, and I believe its something people will have to answer for when they die.

I could... watch I Love Lucy everyday and still laugh so hard. Same with King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond....ahh man there is nothing like laughing.

I dance... with Nate still. And probably will until the day one of us dies. There is nothing like a little romantic candlelight dance.

I sing... way worse then I used to, I have a hard time singing in front of others, but secretly in my heart love to sing, and wish I could do it for a job, though I know I'm not that good.

I don't always... make the right decisions when it comes to money. I am a work in progress and have made leaps and bounds in the last 6 months or so.

I write... like crap. That was always my teachers biggest complaints with me. I would rather type then write something, but then feel at times it makes it impersonal. Oh yes and another one I could have said was I write to much on this blog that maybe 5 people read. But I love all 5 of you! :)

I win... nothing. I have always felt I had bad luck, part of that being my birthday falls of Friday the 13th sometimes. But I'm always sad when I think my bad luck rubbed off on Nate. Because he hasn't won anything since we got married. Its the Cardon gene so my family says, but other people in my family win things! Like one of my cousins who won a Mustang a few years ago...

I lose... my cell phone, keys, wallet and sadly wedding ring/earrings way to often. Its annoying.

I never... listen to news anymore about that Octuplet mom. It makes me so mad, I have told myself its off limits.

I never listen to... rap, country, heavy metal, and half the bands I used to listen to. My music tastes have changed a lot. I love classical, and some movie soundtracks now.

I can usually be found... on the internet. I am always on here, or watching Arthur on TV, or reading a book. Right now its Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (for the 50th time). After I finish that series I will either read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, or try to track down The Chronicle of Narnia series.

I am scared of... being alone when we are older, never having enough money, and what people say about me behind my back.

I need... to learn to find happiness and peace wherever I am, whatever is happening in my life.

I am happy about... leaving tonight for a long weekend with my hubby. We need the time away!

I tag... any who want to do this, and Brooke that can mean you since I steal so much stuff from your blog! :)

I can really drive myself crazy....makes me feel bad for others!

Today I have just been kind of down in the dumps. And I think just in the last minute or two have put my finger on why. 5 Years. Its a wonderful celebration, and I am glad to be going away and all this weekend. But 5 years. I honestly thought our life together would be different by now. With one little baby, maybe a small house, and the start of a bright future together. But most of the 5 years have been littered with sadness, trials, and disappointment. Not much of a beginning.
Sometimes I wonder why me? I mean, I will admit that some of the things that have happened to us have been from mistakes that we/I have made. But isn't that the story of life? Others make mistakes don't they? Other are learning and growing and making mistakes too aren't they? I just feel like why me? Why does everything have to be so hard? Why does the first 5 years of my marriage have to be littered with such grief, such heartache? Why can't we just have a baby so that I would feel at least one thing was going right for us?
I know this is such a depressing post, but it really brings it in perspective for me why I feel such sadness on the night before a fun weekend with my husband. At times I even feel that he should move on, and find someone that can give him a family, that doesn't have to fight this sorrow and depression that hits from nowhere. But I'm grateful he has stuck it through with me.
Sometimes I just wonder what the purpose of my life is here? I know I have said this before, but I feel like I'm at such a standstill. Then I start to feel well, why aren't I working then? Why am I not getting a career and making things easier on us financially? Its a multi-faceted answer for me because of some other struggles, but I feel that some of the reason is because I feel like I'm giving up. And I'm not sure I am really ready to start living my life childless yet. To me I feel like it will be finally admitting to myself that someday will never happen. It causes me such anxiety....
All I have ever wanted from a very young age was to be a wife and a mother. My dad, who was so wonderful instilled such wonderful and positive feelings about being a mother and a wife and how important that role is. But now I think I feel lost. Like an identity crisis almost. A career just does not interest me in the least. But if I never become a mother, what other choice is there? Its not okay with others out there that I stay home, and a lot of times its not okay with me that I stay home.....its just an endless vicious cycle, that never ends until I finally push it out of my mind and try not to think about it.
I dunno, I have had these thoughts tumbling around in my mind for awhile, which was contributing to my sleeping problems. Technically our 5th "anniversary" of trying to start a family is in April, so there may be some more depression around then again. Oh the joy....
Maybe I will have to convince Nate to take me out for a little retail therapy. Thanks to those people out there that read and encourage me, and surround me with love...sometimes its that love that helps me to face another day. I love all those who contribute to my life in a positive and uplifting way. <3

New Countdown!

As you can see there is a new countdown on the top of our blog. Nate is going to school! I am SO proud of him, and of us for making the sacrifice. And it is going to be a sacrifice because we are paying for everything out of pocket. We don't qualify for financial aid, and we don't want to to do loans so its the only option left. But I know it will be worth it in the end. He only has around 2 semesters until he gets his associates and then on to his bachelors, and he going to be doing 3 semesters a year. I am so proud of him, and excited for this huge change for us.
Wish us luck on this endeavor! :D

Our Beginnings : A Memory Lane Post

My SIL Brooke does these every so often on her blog, yes I steal most my ideas from her, because I hardly ever can think of fun things to do. (Thanks Brooke! :) But in honor of mine and Nate's Anniversary in exactly 1 week from now, this is a trip down memory lane starting just over 6 years ago. I am going to be really busy next week, so I just figured now is good.

Nate and I met in January of 2003. I had made friends with his friends Aaron and Ben, andthey had invited me to come to the Weber State Basketball game with them that night along with some of their other friends. They picked me up at my dad's house in Kaysville, and then we were heading to Bountiful to pick up another friend. They, all being gentlemen, let me sit in the front. There was Ben driving, Nate behind Ben and Aaron behind me. Aaron and I were pretty good friends, and he was under the impression that I liked Ben, but I just thought he was nice. Nate had his headphones in, so pretty much I didn't really notice him. Then we got to the library in Bountiful where their other friend worked, and she was finishing up, so we waited outside. In my effort to look "cute" I didn't bring a jacket, and before I knew it, Nate had offered me his coat and put it on. I was surprised because I hadn't ever really been treated that great on dates. So instantly I was curious about this boy. We just sat outside and chatted and then we were on our way to Ogden. Nate put his headphones in again, so I was a bit disappointed that I didn't get to talk to him. Once we got to Ogden and were walking to our seats, I mouthed to Aaron that I wanted to sit by Nate, so I ended up sitting between Aaron and Nate. I just remember how hard my heart was pounding, because I had never really flirted before lol. But we sat talking during the game, and Aaron was just laughing and saying "go cats!" So that became a joke between us. Nate put his arm on the back of my seat and my heart pounded even louder. We walked out to the car together talking and ended up sitting in the backseat together, and talked. Until he got a phone call on his cell from a girl. Great I thought, he's in a relationship. So from about clearfield to my house he talked and talked and talked to this girl. I was really hoping he would walk me to the door and ask for my phone number, but he basically opened the door, said bye, and they drove off. I was kind of devistated. But I called Aaron, and just told him, I liked Nate, and I really wanted to see him again. I decided I would call him the next day, after getting his number from Aaron. So I called Nate, and he said he was just about to call me, because he had just gotten my number from Aaron. So we talked, and he asked me out on a date to a formal dance at the state capital building a few weeks later.
It took Nate quite awhile before he wanted to be "serious". But I knew pretty quickly after we spent some time together, that I was falling in love with him. We were together pretty much everyday after the game, because I made friends with all his friends. (Picture was taken shortly after we met.) The night everything changed was that summer, we went camping up in Ogden canyon with a big group of friends. We were just sitting by the fire talking, and all the sudden Nate came and pulled me away from the fire. We sat a short ways off, and sat down to talk alone. When I ask Nate, he says that was the night he realized he was falling in love with me. I rode in his car on the way back, and he held my hand for the very first time that day. A lot of girls I guess would have given up by then, but I didn't. I knew he was worth waiting for! After that we were boyfriend/girlfriend, and I was waiting for our first kiss. Both of us had never kissed anyone before, so it was a first for both of us, but sometime in the summer the first kiss happened too.
Then the worst thing possible happened. Nate got scared and broke up with me. I was devestated! I heard he had started to "date/hang out" with this other girl I knew, and was just surprised. Imagine my surprise a few days later when her roommate came up to me and told me, she didn't think the relationship would last, because Nate was ALWAYS talking about me. When we talk about it now, he says he can see how he was really annoying to her, but it made him realize he was in love with me and loved being with me. And that other girls just didn't hold his interest anymore. So in August we ended up going to a Metallica concert together, he asked me to be his girlfriend again, and I said yes. Things were just perfect and shortly after we were engaged. We set a wedding date for February 19th, I think based on Spring break at school. I knew Nate for over a year before we were married, and I think it has made so much difference, because we can look back on so many different memories together which is fun, but has also been a very good foundation for our marriage.
So we were married on a cold, snowy day. And its 5 years later, and I just am so grateful that I have someone to love, and to love me back. Nate is my hero, my best friend, my soul-mate. I can't imagine loving anyone more then I do him, or being as happy and safe as I feel with him. I am one lucky girl! So Happy Anniversary to us!!

Just things....

Nothing much has really been going on. My sleeping has gotten better, which I associate with me cutting out caffeine for the most part out of my diet. Things have been slow. I'm mad about the snow that has been dumped on us lately, I was hoping for an early thaw! No special plans for Valentine's day, because we are going on a little getaway for our Anniversary. It should be nice. I just hope the weather is okay for driving! I know the cats will probably miss us like crazy.
That's about all that's up with us. Pretty boring and stale I know. Happy Valentine's day to all! :)