My Goal for September

There is a new ticker at the top! This is my exercise goal for September. I'm not sure how much to put as my goal, so I thought I would start at 50. I might not get anywhere near it, or I might go way over it. I'm feeling really good. I have to keep reminding myself the weight loss is going to be slow but I can already tell I feel healthier. Which is the best feeling. I just hope we can keep going with the exercise and eating. So far so good. I just hope I don't fall back into old habits. Its just a choice to be healthy or not I guess. So here is to tomorrow, the start of my goal! :)

Quiet time of life...

Obviously things are quiet around here. Nate's shift changed on Sunday, so we are in a transition time period right now. Its been hard, but I'm just grateful that Nate has a job. So many out there don't.
Honestly, I don't know how often I am going to update. I really don't have much to say, so yeah. I feel like I don't "fit in" in the world anymore. No one understands my life, and honestly I don't understand most anyone else's. I feel like I'm such a negative person now. I didn't used to feel that way. Life has just been full of negative stuff for me, and honestly I have no idea how to turn it around. Don't get me wrong. I am so happy in my marriage, I love my 2 cats, and I have an amazing family. But I feel like my life is paused. I have felt like that for almost a year now. And it feels like it doesn't get any better. My biggest concern in my life right now is our car. We are trapped in this loan, with no funds to get us out, and then car isn't even worth half of what's left on the loan. There is something wrong with, and guess what! No money to fix it! Story of my life. I am so worried about it breaking down and making it so we have to push Nate's school again, now he's going to Weber State hopefully in the Spring semester. But we have to scrounge up around 600 dollars in just a matter of months. So we will see.
I know that alot of people in my life would say that I "created my own reality". Yes. Thank you. That doesn't help one bit. What happens when you are trying everything that you possibly can to turn things around, but nothing works? I honestly don't know. We want to move out. But we both realize that Nate's schooling would have to be postponed for the forseeable future. And neither of us are willing to do that. I could work, but I still don't have my anxiety under control. I have put my resume into some places, but with my work history I am never going to get hired unless someone gives me a chance. So I don't know. I just don't know how we can turn our life around...we just hit one rough patch after another.
Sorry, I am going on and on. But I just wanted to say, I really doubt I will update much anymore. I just don't have a life people care about, and that's okay. I'm not good with words, I don't captivate people, and that's okay too. I imagine my life to just be a quiet one, and being only of consequence to those around me. I will still leave the blog open, in case I ever feel like updating it, but it probably will be months between posts.
So TTFN, and happy life to you all! :)

A quote I like

Just thought I would share, mainly for my own benefit:

"Reputation is what men and women think of us; Character is what God and angels KNOW of us."
-Thomas Paine

Green River '09!

Well, at the last minute (the day before) I decided to go to Green River/Flaming Gorge with my family. My neice April also decided to come too which was nice. I was really sad Nate couldn't come, but it was really nice to spend time with my family. I had so much fun with my neices and nephews, and everyone else, I am so glad that I went. The first day we got there, we almost got in an accident twice which was kind of scary. But thankfully we were okay. We got up there around 4 PM, and set up camp and my Brother and Sis-in-law got dinner going in Dutch Ovens, and they did such a good job at it! While April and I were putting up the tent, it POURED. We were completely soaked from head to toe! I will have to add a picture when I get my hands on one, I didn't take one with my camera. So I will add that later. My other niece Haley decided to join April and I in our tent, and so it was a really fun "girl's" tent. We stayed up until 2 AM just talking and stuff and it was so fun. The next day we went up to Brownie lake to do some fishing. There is a hike there to a lookout tower that I really want to go on. We didn't get to do it this time. We ended up leaving because it started raining plus there were some annoying people there. So we drove another 10 miles up to Spirit Lake. It was really pretty up there. It was like being in the Twilight movie. Mysterious dark forest, quiet. I could almost imagine Edward running through the woods up there. We stayed there for an hour or so and then left because it started raining. We ate at the Lodge (which is a tradition in my family) which was nice. Came back to the camp, had a fire and went to bed. The next day the boys got up and went fishing in the morning/early afternoon so the rest of us just hung around camp and played some games which was really fun. When they got back everyone but my dad and I went to the Dam Tour. I took a nap, because I really wasn't interested in going. Plus it was nice just to lay in my tent with the breeze blowing through. I watched Twilight on my iPod, which was cool up in the woods. The last night we had a fire, roasted more marshmallows, starbursts, and some people made banana boats. Then we went into Rob's trailer and played some games.
We packed up the last day, and on the way home Rob had a tire blow out on his trailer. We ended up getting home later then we hoped, but I was just glad no one was hurt, and there was no damage that was expensive to fix.
It was a really fun trip! It made me realize how much I really do love camping, so we are hoping that next year Nate will be able to go. Plus we are talking about doing some of our own camping some other places too next year. Maybe Zion's National Park. We really want to go down there since we both haven't been since we were really little. And we found a new tent that we want, so I'm excited for that too. Should be able to buy it in the next few months. It was a great trip though, and I can't wait to go camping again.
Blogger doesn't want to let me add pictures, so I will try to add them later. :)