Holidays are coming

As the holiday's near, it gets hard to accept the reality of my life sometimes. On the one hand I feel so blessed in my life by Heavenly Father, for all the wonderful things that He has given me. Then on the other hand, its hard to know that the thing I want the most, is not going to happen for me. I feel so lost some days, wondering what the purpose of my life is here. I feel no pull for things of this world, that money could buy me. At times all I can really do is cling to my faith that the Lord will bless us with things in the next life that we weren't given here. Some days are easier then others, but some days the emptiness can be so consuming. Especially when I start to worry about the future, about how we will have no one to pass our things on to, how we will have no help from children when we are old. But then again, I just have to pray for peace that things will work out the way they are supposed to. I wrote this poem at the beginning of this year, it really expresses some of my feelings.

Our Sweet Angel Baby
We started our journey
As husband and wife
A family for eternity
Through happiness and strife.

Four years later
Loving each other much
But our hearts and arms are empty
Wishing for a baby to touch.

When I look in his eyes
All that I can see
Is the daddy and father
I know he would be.

It breaks my heart
And I can hardly cope
To think I can't give him
His hearts cherished hope.

I wake in the night
Wipe the tears from my eyes
And listen in the silence
To my little baby's cries.

But your not yet with me
My little baby dear.
I still have to wait
Maybe months, maybe years.

I'll be waiting for you
My angel up above
Every second of my life
I'll be waiting for you to love.

For now your in Heaven
Hope my Mother's with you there
Holding you and loving you
While you are in her care.

Our sweet angel baby
We wish upon the stars,
Put our faith and trust in Father,
That one day you'll be ours.

Written by Tami Robite 1/31/08