Halloween Musings....

I'm just sitting here, really wanting to write a blog, and I cannot for the life of me think of what to write! But I wanted to share a picture of me and BJ, in Halloween costumes that my Mom made for us.

Obviously I am the little "ghost". So cute. Its hard to believe that its been 20 years since my mom passed away. Sometimes it feels like I just appeared here on earth without being born, which is so weird. I really don't know what my mom is like, but also at the same time I have always felt her presence close by all my life.

I have had a lot of neat experiences, that have to deal with my mom, and I have been grateful all of my short 25 years of life, that I have never questioned there being a life after this one. Other parts of the gospel have made me blink but never have I questioned that I would see her again.

My sister just passed the age that my mom passed away at. And it gets you wondering sometimes if you will be afflicted with the same disease. Cancers are so scary. Especially the type of Breast cancer my mom had. It is a lesser known type, and very aggressive.

She must have had such a drive in her to stay with her family, she battled cancer for over a year. I cannot imagine the pain and suffering she went through with all the chemo and radiation she went through. As I get older, I come to realize some of the feelings she must have felt but I just cannot imagine waking up everyday with the fear it could be your last.

This is my family before I was born, BJ is the baby.

I can't wait for the day that my family will be whole again, and I can finally meet and get to know the woman that brought me into this world.

I'm grateful for the knowledge of Eternal Families, and that my family will be together again if we are faithful. I love each of my family members so very much. I feel very blessed for the life that God has given to me, and His watchful eye over me my whole life.

I'm also grateful for the trials that He has given me. As crazy as that seems. When I am trying to live my life the way He wants me to, I know that I am becoming clay in His hands, to be molded to a wonderful and amazing piece of art.

Life is crazy, that much is true. I just hope that my Mom is up in Heaven watching over my little spirit children, that I know will be mine one day. More then likely in the next life, but we were never guaranteed a perfect life here. I have had to learn and accept that as the truth, and move on, and rely on my Father in Heaven.

Mothers are so very special, and I hope anyone that reads this will send their mom a note, just telling them they love them and are grateful for them.

But, I have also been blessed with a wonderful father here on earth! How blessed and grateful I feel. I hear many people say that they don't really know their dads, and I'm grateful that I can count him not only as my father but one of my dearest friends. His faith and testimony are quiet, but speak in such powerful ways. He has taught me so many things, and when he is finally laid to rest in years from now I pray, that I will be missing him here on earth, but what a reunion will be witnessed in Heaven!

Anyhow, strange how this blog turned out. Not exactly what I was thinking I would talk about. But, maybe someone needs to hear it, or maybe it will just let others get to know me a little better. Well, that's all I'm going to say for now, which is an earful! LOL!

Picture of me and my Mom is over on the left hand side, I don't have many pictures of her, at least on my computer sorry. But I just wanted to end with a quote from Joseph Smith that I read today. "How consoling to the mourners when they are called to part with a husband, wife, father, mother, child, or dear relative to know that, although the earthly tabernacle is laid down and dissolved, they shall rise again to dwell in everlasting burnings in immortal glory, not to sorrow, suffer, or die any more, but they shall be heirs of God, and joint heirs with Jesus Christ." Joseph Smith Jr, found in the Teachings of the Presidents of the Church book, but was a discourse given in 1844.

Till next time then! :D